Wellness means more than simply the absence of disease (Meiselman, 2016). It involves a process of change and growth with each step moving closer towards holistic health. In fact, one could place the term wellness alongside wholeness for a harmonious relationship of understanding the full meaning of both words. To achieve and maintain wellness means that someone is integrating all parts of themselves, the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual, into one coherent stream of progress along life’s journey.
Before 1938 the primary mode of treating alcoholism and addiction was through full frontal lobe lobotomies and electroshock therapy (Shorter and Healy, 2007). Then, something beautiful and insightful was introduced to the world with the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1939. This development helped thousands of people move closer towards wholeness, or wellness. Through accepting the difficulties they faced with alcohol and illicit substances, and sharing that awareness with close allies, progress was made. Our approach as a society went from numbing or removing parts of physical matter from our bodies to only doing that with our psyche and morality. It was progress, but we can still advance in understanding and practice.
Whenever we focus on removing the worst parts of ourselves, such as eradicating our selfishness, pride, or greed, we often discover that those parts only intensify leaving us weary, exhausted, and caught in the snare of self-contempt. When we attempt to remove defects and deficiencies of character, what we hear internally is that there are entire parts of ourselves that are unacceptable. This initiates an internal war that we can never win. It’s fragmented, divisive, and unending, which is about as far removed from wellness as one can be.
There is a better way. There is a universal pattern that the previous approach reflects, which is that whatever we resist in life will only persist. Or, whatever we give attention to or focus on only grows and intensifies. When we devote our energy towards annihilating or removing certain aspects of ourselves, we are leaving entire parts of ourselves unexplored, underdeveloped, and misunderstood. There is a better way, and that way is marked and illuminated by wellness.
Wellness guides us on this path by empowering us to see all the parts of ourselves, accepting it all, forgiving it all, then using what we have in a much more positive and productive way. The person caught in addiction can experience inner transformation when efforts to deny and reject certain parts of themselves are replaced by acceptance of their whole selves. Shame and guilt are given the pink slip, while dignity and self-respect are introduced and promoted.
In my 17 years of active addiction, I can vouch for the merciless and ineffective quest of eliminating my compulsions and neuroses. No amount of self-punishment, abasement, and empty promises could help achieve relief or redemption from that which tortured me. Which, come to find out, it was myself that held the keys to the torture chamber.
It wasn’t until I entered treatment in 2013 that I began to see things differently. I first noticed I was not alone, and there were others just like me. They had also been pummeling themselves and apologizing for who they had become, yet I also noticed something else. There were some really great things taking place within the walls of that treatment center, and most of it was being initiated and carried out by those who had been labeled a reject, a nuisance to society, or a problem to be dealt with. We were supported by each other and discovered that we all had these parts we had been trying to eradicate for most of our lives. What I discovered was that the monster didn’t go away until I turned on the light.
Fast forward 10 years, and I believe I can now better understand wellness, addiction, and recovery. It all comes back to wellness, to being made whole which is only achieved when we stop fighting the war within and accept the terms of a cease fire. Those terms include dropping all labels and judgmentalism, considering and accepting all our strengths and weaknesses, then learning how to live lives of balance, internal harmony, and wellbeing.
One way, I have discovered, to achieve this is by identifying and optimizing the positive personality and character traits everyone has. This trait discovery process can become part of one’s identity, moving them away from identifying with a label or diseased state, and moving them closer to themselves. Which may sound odd initially, but is where following our traits lead us to, a deeper level of self-understanding. This approach disassociates oneself from the judgements society have placed on them, and empowers transformation through answering the question, ‘Who am I?”. Once this question is answered and we learn that we are more than our physical bodies or poorly tolerated personality traits, healing begins, and a new life emerges. Things become clearer for the remainder of our journey, because when you know who you are, you will know what to do.
One word of caution, however, we don’t need to throw away any approach that has helped save countless lives. We can learn from each other, from the past, and from the various approaches to living and wellness. We integrate the beneficial elements and build upon it to offer another tool in the toolkit of life. It is a good thing to have other options than repeatedly moving through steps or methods. In fact, mindless repetition can make us sick once again. We evolve as a species, and our journey of recovery should reflect that universal law.
So, wellness is everything. It pulls together all the various aspects we encounter on life’s journey and seeks to mend them together into one cohesive unit. It all belongs. This is what wellness, wholeness, and healing represent. When we accept it all, we begin the healing process and awaken to a world of wellness occurring all around and within us. Perfection is not our goal, instead, we follow the process, which is something more beautiful, good, and true than we ever imagined.
REFERENCES
Meiselman, H. L. (2016). Quality of life, well-being and wellness: Measuring subjective health for foods and other products. Food quality and preference, 54, 101-109.
Shorter, E., & Healy, D. (2007). Shock therapy: a history of electroconvulsive treatment in mental illness. Rutgers University Press.